The Arctic Monkeys now have the fastest selling debut album in the UK. They sold over 360,000 copies in a week, leaving behind the reality TV-fabricated boyband Hear'Say by 60,000. Oasis had the record before them, with some 250,000. The record industry has not seen a phenomenon like this since...
...the Beatles.
So it's not surprising that the journo's are wetting their pants. And, inevitably, the sourpusses are taking potshots at them, saying they've lifted this from here and that from there. Or, in some extreme cases, that they suck. Bless them, confused souls.
There's a song on the album that most reviewers either ignore, or declare as "weak". Here are the lyrics to Alex Turner's pre-emptive strike. It's a song about hype, overenthusiastic praise, and fickle press-men.
Perhaps Vampire is a bit strong but..
Well I've seen your eyes as they fix on me
What is he doing? What on earth's the plan? Has he got one?
You'd better give me some pointers
Since you are the big rocket launcher and I'm just the shotgun
Well I ain't got no dollar signs in my eyes
That might be a surprise but it's true
That I'm not like you and I don't want your advice
Or your praise or to move in the ways you do
And I never will
Cause all you people are vampires
And all your stories are stale
And though you pretend to you'll stand by us
I know you're certain we'll fail
Well I've seen your eyes as they flicked on me
Full of confusion
Your snarl is just so condescending
Try to explain that we're onto a win
If the fee we get in
Near recoups what we're spending
He says, I can't believe that you drove all that way
Well how much did they pay ya? How much did they pay ya?
You'd've been better to stay round our way
Thinking 'bout things but not actually doing a thing
Cause all you people are vampires!
Any surprises that the rock critics didn't go for this ?
Listen to this wonderful rock and roll middle finger:
Perhaps Vampire is a bit strong but... [mp3]
